Making decisions for yourself or someone you love can be overwhelming. Even more so when it’s a decision which highlights the reality of ageing. When it comes to deciding to access care or move into a more supported environment; there are so many options available, it can be confusing.
Unfortunately, we can’t make the decisions for you. However, we can give you some guidance to help you make good choices. Below are three questions you should ask before rushing to a decision.
What has happened recently to create the need for a change?
Things like “I’m not coping anymore with this”, or feeling withdrawn or depressed are common examples. If emotion is clouding your ability to think straight, seek help from family, friends and advocate groups for another opinion.
Once you understand why assistance or a change is needed, consider the next question.
What could we do to help (the individual)?
Everyone involved in the decision-making process needs to answer this question. We don’t all think alike, and everyone may have a different idea of what will help. It doesn’t matter if you don’t all agree on details at this stage.
Next, find out all available options. The NDIA or Care to Change can help you with this.
What help is available? And, what are the physical, emotional and financial outcomes of these options on the individual and their loved ones?
Speak to the individual, doctors, the NDIA, family, friends or advocacy groups to better understand the available options.
This part is the most difficult. You will have to learn about things you don’t know anything about. And possibly have to learn about things that you didn’t even know that you didn’t know about! Making decisions to help someone you love is an emotional experience.
While it may be tempting to bury your head in the sand and wish someone would just give you the answer, it is important to research all the possible options and their impacts. If there are a number of people involved in the decision-making process, keep the conversation open and honest. This will help people to understand each person’s point of view, and will also help you identify if anyone is acting out of their own self-interest, rather than the best interest of the individual.
Don’t forget to take a notepad or laptop to document everything, or create a private, group chat through social media to keep the conversation flowing.
Once a decision has been made and implemented, give yourself some time to adjust to the change. Barring any serious issues that arise, we recommend waiting three months before asking yourself this final question:
Is the decision delivering the outcomes we need?
Another way to ask this question is: is there anything that needs to be changed to improve the life of the individual? It is important to ask this question as it ensures that everyone has had time to consider the impact of the change. If something isn’t working, don’t be afraid to discuss it. And if everything is going well, congratulate yourself on making a great decision during a difficult time!
